我的外婆和外公

Preface

外婆 & 外公 ancestral roots in China. After their blind marriage (外婆 is 3/4 head taller than 外公!) in China , they have been floating day & night in a crowded boat with the rest (also venturing out from China to seek fortune), crossing the wide ocean - for months - before arriving on the land, which we called Peninsular Malaysia today.

They are blessed with 11 children: 3 sons & 8 daughters; with my mum being the youngest daughter at the 10th placing. Since both 外婆 & 外公 are being brought up in China, they are instill with the typical Chinese mindset i.e. preference in always given to the son, grandson of the son & great-grandson of the son & great-great-grandson of the son - especially the eldest ones i.e. 长子. It is very much reflected in their ways of life too e.g. only stay with the sons, but not with the daugthers.

Their Struggles

In those days, it is a norm to have 10+ children for a family since there is no birth-control contraceptive available back then. To raise 11 children with only 外公 being the sole breadwinner - it is almost unimaginable!

I learned from 外婆 that 外公 is actually a scholar:O That explained why he is very well-versed in 中文 & most of all, I admired his 繁体 hand-writing;) He was once given the opportunity to study upon his arrival. However he gave up after his guardian's discriminatory treatment e.g. do not starched & iron his uniform while doing it for her own children - leaving him the laughingstock in school.

At home, 外婆 takes care of the marketing, cooking, house chores, the feeding of the young ones. The elder ones i.e. who is capable enough to take care of themselves is left to be 天生天养.

Partially it is due to 外公's typcial chinese mindset, on the other hand he could not financially afford to sent all of his 11 children to school. Thus, only the sons get formal schooling, whereas the daughters have to work outside e.g. tap rubber trees, wash clothes, pick peanuts & etc or to get married. However, it was an exception for my mother. She requests & insists that she go to school. Being the youngest daughter, and having witnessed what her sisters had gone through, she decided to choose her own fate.

Their Old Days

The question comes next: Which son should they spent their old days staying with?

外婆 had once told me, one day when she was resting and was sitted at the entrance of the cinema (owned by his eldest son back in their hometown in Sungai Siput, Perak), a young man - a total stranger - came up to her and wish to '赠' (in Cantonese) 外婆 a few words - to tell her fortune. At first, she hesitated by his proposal - looking at fact that typical fortune teller is of certain age, but a young man?. So, she went on asking him a few questions before buying his cards. To her surprise, his answer to her question somehow matched! Finally 外婆 give him the permission to tell her about her fortune.

With only a look on 外婆's palm, he told 外婆 that she had 3 sons (and he do not talk about daughters:P). Among this 3 sons, the youngest one will be most filial, who will take good care of both her & 外公. Thus, it explains why both 外婆 & 外公 have been staying with my youngest uncle i.e. 小舅父 ever since 小舅父 got married;)